Colonic irritation

As a row erupts in France over the fate of the semicolon, Aida Edemariam has conducted a survey of opinion, finding ire from John Humphrys ("If the semicolon is one of the neglected children in the family of punctuation marks these days, told to stay in its room and entertain itself, because mummy and daddy are busy, the apostrophe is the abused victim."), Kurt Vonnegut ("Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing"), and Irvine Welsh ("People actually get worked up about that kind of shite, do they? I don't fucking believe it. They should get a fucking life or a proper job. They've got too much time on their hands, to think about nonsense.")

The jury's plainly out; where would you stick your semicolon?