How to be a lightning conductor

There are few things more enjoyable to play than air guitar, that most subtle of instruments which confers upon its humble practitioners a talent quite extraordinary in its versatility and power. It allows you to play along with Page and Hendrix, then switch to Slash or Paul Simon at a moment's notice, and without the need for any serious training or musical gift. All this, then, but still it pales in comparison with the much grander, more dignified art of the air baton.